Longing After Him

"As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.

"My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?"

Psalm 42:1-2 KJV

I am reminded of those lyrics inspired by this Psalm.

As the deer panteth for the water

so my soul longeth after Thee

You alone are my heart's desire

and I long to worship Thee

You alone are my strength my shield

To You alone may my spirit yield

You alone are my heart's desire

and I long to worship Thee

This is how we ought to strive for God everyday, every waking moment of our lives, just as He strives for us. We are the center of His attention from the beginning of creation. He gave everything so that we might be able to be with Him for eternity in paradise. Despite our downfalls He loves us without regard, unconditionally. If the Maker of the universe will go to such lengths to be with us, shouldn't we reciprocate? Shouldn't we strive to follow Him, to dwell in His midst, and be near Him?

When you have a crush it seems they consume your thoughts. They keep you up at night, and they occupy your dreams. When they are absent, the room feels empty and amiss. You become anxious like their is something you're missing out on somewhere else. Yet as soon as they walk in that all changes. Suddenly, you can't imagine yourself anywhere else. Just being there near them makes you happy. Their presence almost gives you a sort of high. You look for any excuse to be around them, and get to know them. You want to, no, you have to know everything about them.

This is how we should think about Christ. He is our first love, and the more we seek Him the more we want to be near Him. He should dwell in our conscious day and night, and through everything we do. He IS the fire that lights up the room, and without Him every room becomes dark. In His midst you find peace and unfathomable love. You find that you have to know everything about Him, and you relish every word recorded in His Bible. The moment you start seeking Him will be the moment you find you need Him in your life. All you have to do is open your heart and let Him in, every new morning.

Let us seek Him as He sought us...

Words of Kindness

"For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able to bridle the whole body.

"Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.

"Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

"Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!"

James 3:2-5 KJV

Working in customer service can be a difficult job. Many times you deal with people talking to you disrespectfully, taking out their frustrations on you when you had absolutely nothing to do with their problems. Often they are mad at the world because someone wronged them, and now here you are available for them to yell at. Or sometimes they simply feel entitled and they see you as a "commoner". Regardless of how they speak to you, we don't have to give it back.

Perhaps you don't work in customer service. You don't have one of those jobs where, "the customer/guest is always right". The truth is, your "customer"/"guest" extends to your family, friends, coworkers, even the cashier at the market. Everyone you interact with on a daily basis is also in a way your guest. Do you think Jesus talked to the multitude one way, and then his Disciples a completely different way? What then would give us the right to think that we can talk to anyone with spite? Just because the cashier at Walgreens can't file a complaint to your boss and get you fired, it doesn't make it right to lash out at them.

So today, when you are conversing with people, let your words be spoken in kindness and gentleness. Despite the attitude others may give to you. Reply no in malice or spite, but in grace and patience. For that is how Christ would wants us to speak. Just how the thin leather of a bridle is able to guide about a horse, or a helm able to turn about a whole ship, so is your tongue capable of uplifting someone or causing destruction. It only takes a single lit match to burn down a forest. Likewise, a few choice words can lead to ruin.

God You alone know the heart of man. You alone know who I am. You know my fears, failures and insecurities. You know the imperfections that no one else can see. Yet in You I am made strong. I am made brave to win any victory. In You I will endure, as Your love, joy and peace converge.

A Glass Pane

What is true joy? Some days one strives for it to no end. No one can deny the ill depression that sweeps our Nation. We long for happiness. Isn't that the goal of all individuals? The pursuit of happiness? To many that is a fountain of wealth, a fairytale romance, whole health, or success. The definition of fulfillment and contentment lies in what we can reap from this world.

As a Christian one finds joy in Christ, and in salvation. We find joy in the midst of a raging storm (that is not to say we don't have our ups and downs, for we too struggle to find hope in the fierce trials). But even the greatest joy in this world, cannot compare to that which we will discover when we come into the presence of our Lord in Heaven.

It is like looking through the pane of a bakery: unable to touch, to taste, to fully experience the goodness of those sweets.

  

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."

I Corinthians 13:12 (KJV)

When this world fades away, when our mortal lives come to an end, when we stand before our Savior, He will look into our eyes and He will smile. We will feel His love like we have never felt before. We will be overwhelmed in a joy so great it surpasses understanding. Peace will rule so powerfully in our hearts it will shake the foundation of our souls. And suddenly... suddenly we will realize we were looking through a glass pane this whole time.

We are disconnected to a degree here on this earth, encompassed entirely by a world unworthy of God's glory. For He is a perfect God, and we live in an imperfect world. We are saved by grace, but we live in a world where Satan is the prince. We see God's glory as it were through a glass, separated. 

Yet take heart, there comes a day when the Lord will shatter that glass with an iron fist and His glory will resound like a thousand trumpets. We will be drawn to our knees everyone, and with our tongues confess that He is Lord. One day this world will fade and when it does, the Heaven's will roll back and we will behold His glory. The glory of the Father. And we will be encompassed, bathed, and baptized in His love, peace and joy.

Knowing you...

Isn't it odd how someone can know you for years and yet never know you? Or how you can think you know yourself only to wake up one day realizing you have no idea who you are? As soon as you think you have a grasp of who you are and who you want to be, or as soon as you think you know someone else, everything changes and you find yourself at a loss. It doesn't matter how hard we try, we will never get people to know us entirely. We will never entirely know ourselves. But God does.

He knows us better than we know ourselves. He sees the deepest corners of our heart. He sees what we struggle so hard to hide. He sees those things which we deny. He looks directly into our soul. Nothing can hide from His sight. Yet the most amazing thing about God is that He loves us anyways.

When He looks into our heart He sees a person He intentionally created. He sees a human being whom He fashioned with purpose, and of His own breath breathed into life. And He smiles. And He loves us.

We are not perfect - we do error and make mistakes - yet there is nothing He cannot fix. There is no brokenness He cannot put back together. The greatest of all sins is believing our brokenness is beyond repair.  It is believing God is not big enough to mend us and make us whole.

So the next time you look into the mirror, remember that the God of the universe has a plan. He saw the need for another life to be birthed, another story to be wrote, and so with great purpose He fashioned you. You may not know yourself... the world may not know you... but God does.

Love...

"For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit." Jeremiah 17:8

Likewise ought we to seek after the fountain of life. Everyday. For a life with Christ is a day to day journey, and not merely a moment's feeling. To seek His face continually. That is true happiness this world can never know.

Recently I have not stood fast to this. I have found myself not as close to Him as I would like. But today I am reminded of His great love for us. He truly loves each and everyone of us. And for the first time in my life... I prayed for the people whom I considered my enemies. I don't mean those whom I don't get along with. I mean those whom over the years I have never been able to forget, whose memory yet burning in my mind and heart. We all have somebody like that. Well today I prayed for those few, and sincerely asked God to shower His love on them.

I cannot believe it still, but I strangely felt at peace. I remembered the love of God, and how great it was. That dream I had, I don't know how I shall every explain how Jesus looked at me. Full of love and full of mercy. He did not judge me, though He had every right to do so. He smiled instead. He loves everyone one of us like that, including those whom I consider my... least favorite. lol.

When I prayed to God, asking for Him to show Himself to them and fill them with remarkable love and joy, I found myself filled with love. And for a split second, I saw the world how He does. For Christ came not to judge, but those whom will not believe in Him are condemned already.

People we NEED Jesus. I don't care what the world tells you. You will never feel or even know true happiness and peace until you make Jesus apart of your life, and I don't just mean on Sunday's. I don't just mean going through the motions of being a Christian either. For there are a lot of people who claim to be Christians who simply are not. I mean, when you give your life to Christ, believing and accepting His gift of salvation, letting it change your life. There is no greater love, joy or peace then with the Lord Jesus Christ.

This may sound cheesy, and redundant. Who has hasn't heard, "God loves you". If but we could truly understand. We cannot fathom His love for us because it is more than we can bare. Yes. If He were to show Himself to us, the love in His eyes would bring everyone to their knees. Heck, we wouldn't be able to do anything but bask in His presence.

There will come a day when every knee shall bow, and every tongue confess that Christ is Lord. Yet that is not today. Today, we live in a world full of hardship, trials, and deceit. Today we do not see the glory of the Lord. But let me tell you, He is freakin' antsy to show Himself to us. To you. Not that He might show off His glory and might, but that He might show unto us His great love for us. He desires all to come unto salvation, and that none should perish.

To all of you who are broken-hearted. How He wishes to hold you close and comfort you, for He loves the broken and contrite heart. He desires to make His love known unto us. If this reaches but one person who thinks no one cares, who thinks their pain goes unnoticed, know that the Lord is beside you with arms open wide. He bids you come and find peace in Him. If you could but see Him, you would see the great, incomprehensible, overwhelming love in His eyes. For God so loved the world...

The Lord is faithful and true. None shall separate me and my Lord. No hardship, trial or persecution. No valley too deep, climb too steep, pain too great, or grief too heavy. No not even death itself. For in the end, when all is passed, when all has faded into history, He remains. He remains. For my Lord is faithful and true. My Lord... my God... my Savior... my Redeemer... my Everlasting Hope...

I had a dream

I saw the face of Jesus.

It was dark outside, and cold. Snow swept across the fogging windshield and piled around the already buried tires. No doubt, like last year, I had never gotten around to putting on winter tires. To add to my frustration the engine was sputtering out as well.

There was a glow from a house close by, and a stream of thick smoking lifting into the night sky. My sister and I hesitated, but finally we decided to trudge through the knee high snow and knock on the door. A woman appeared in the doorway. I don't recall for sure, but I believe she wore an apron and had something cooking on the stove. To say the least it was a warm, cozy place, and with open arms they welcomed us in.

They were a sweet couple. They offered us a cup of hot something, and a place to sleep. The next morning we awoke, and from there it blurred for a bit. We must have stayed for a couple days because we got to know them fairly well. It was through one of our conversations around the fireplace when they brought up the rumors of the traveling train.

There had been several accounts of a man, many whom claimed was Jesus, passing through from town to town along the railroad. The accounts all said children accompanied Him, and that wherever He visited many had believed on the Lord, giving their life to Jesus. It was then they told us that He would be passing through that town in just a few short days. Obviously there was no exact schedule, but the rumors claimed His next destination was there.

A few mornings later news spread that He would be arriving in a few short hours. Alina and I were skeptical, yet curious. Bundled up in borrowed boots, jackets, hats and scarves, we made our way to the train station. There was a small crowd gathering, whispering to one another in anticipation. We all had the same question in mind. Who was this man whom touched the hearts and inspired so many people? Who was this man whom they called Jesus?

It first came as a small light, flickering off in the distance. As it grew closer, the light brightened and lit up the sky. The engine rumbled, smoke bellowed high, and the rhythmic grind of the gears. What surprised us all was the sound of laughter. Child laughter, starting out faint and barely audible and growing louder.

Before we knew it, the train was hauling in right beside us. Odd as it may sound, the cars had no roofs, and thus were exposed to the weather. Yet no one appeared cold. There were children everywhere, and suddenly just being in there midst made one bubble up in laughter and joy.

We ran along with the train until it came to a complete stop. When it did, I climbed up the side of one car and found myself looking right into the face of the man whom everyone called Jesus. In an instant I knew that all the rumors were true. I was looking right into the eyes of the Son of God. I saw His love. I saw Him looking at me, and I crumbled from the intensity of His love for me, and I cried. My whole body shook. In that moment I was overwhelmed in His presence.

He was surrounded by little children of all ages. He wore no fancy robes. He wore no crown of jewels. He was dressed quite simple. He was clean shaven save something of a three day stubble. His hair was brown, curly locks. His eyes I cannot put into words. Imagine a light hue, almost the color of blue and like glass. When He looked at you He looked into your soul. All knowing, yet entirely and altogether loving. I cannot explain this love that I felt, but when He set His gaze on me I felt so comforted, so rejuvenated, so full of hope, and so loved. I didn't want to let Him go. I understood in that moment what true unconditional love was. And his smile. He smiled at me. After seeing beyond the walls I had built up over the years, after seeing and acknowledging every hidden secret within my heart, after beholding my dirty and blemished soul, He smiled at me.

What is in a smile? I tell you, I cannot know save the smile of Jesus Christ. He did not condemn me. He loved me. He greeted me like I meant everything to Him. That was how He greeted everyone. It reminded me of that verse,

"For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." John 3:17 KJV

He didn't say much, but this one thing I remember well. I don't recall the exact words, but one thing He kept repeating over and over was, “Trace my image and share it with the world.”

I told Him I did not understand. I told Him I had a sore hand for art, and that I could never do His glory justice. He only replied with the same request. I understand now that He did not mean literally draw His face, but rather share to the world the image of who He was and what He had done. I finally told Him I would. (This is me trying.)

The train had to pull out not long after that, and I begged Him to stay. I clung to Him, and nigh willed Him to remain, but He said He must continue. I begged to follow Him. I did not want to ever leave His side again. He was suddenly all I cared to live for. But in a still, small voice He told me to stay and pursue the calling He had given me. It reminded me of the man whom Jesus delivered from the demons when He crossed the sea of Galilee. The man begged to follow Jesus, but Christ commanded him to stay and go and share with the town what the Lord had done.

"And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him. 

"Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

^"And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel."

Mark 5:18-20

I was not on that train when it pulled out. I remained behind. This truly applies to me in real life because for a long time I have been restless to go and do God's work in other countries right now. There have been nights where I could not sleep and would do anything to leave everything behind and just go. I have had really no patience to wait on the Lord's timing. But in that dream, when He told me to stay behind, I know that He was referring to me remaining here in the Flathead Valley and continuing school, being a witness here for Him.

When the engine began to rumble and smoke bellow out, I asked Jesus in my dream to let me look at His face once more. To gaze into His beautiful countenance, and behold His pure, innocent yet powerful glory. Pure love. Unconditional. Pure joy. I have never felt anything like it before.

I had cried when I looked into his face. Tears not of sadness, but an overwhelming of peace. I cried when I later rejoined the crowds and tried to tell them what I saw. I cried when I awoke this morning and discovered this all a dream. I cried when I realized that God did indeed care enough to visit me in a dream, JUST to tell me that He loved me, that He knew all I had and was currently going through, and to tell me He heard every prayer. He had been just as excited and anxious to meet me as I was to see Him. To show Himself unto me after all these years. He had seen my blind faith, and He at last manifested a small portion of Himself. I will forever remember that night.

Too often we think that because God does not come storming through and presenting His full majesty for us to behold, performing astounding miracles in our lives, that He must not see us or care for us. We think that God must not love us because He does not manifest himself to us. We think He doesn't care because He allows tragedies to befall us. We tend to think that we are too blemished for Him to care to love us or forgive us. We are so quick to condemn ourselves. But let me tell you this. To everyone who desires a relationship and reconciliation with Jesus Christ, He does not condemn you, but loves and cherishes you. He rejoices over you, and He is smiling on you right now though you cannot see Him. He hears you. I can vouch for that.

I looked on the internet about images of Jesus. Numerous life accounts poured through Google search, and everyone exclaimed over and over about His eyes and love. They claimed he had light eyes, some thought green and others blue. I personally believe they are a color no man can recognize, yet our mind struggles to tag a color our simple minds know.

I am positive with no doubt that I saw Jesus. I know it, and this I will cherish. I can hardly wait to see Him again in Heaven, and I desperately hope I have the most blessed opportunity to see Him again before then.

 "That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 

"May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 

"And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God."

Ephesians 3:17-19 KJV

Sharing His love

Sometime ago I shared that I was sponsoring a child over seas. His name was Shishir. Unfortunately, I received an email a couple weeks ago informing me that Shishir had moved away, and was no longer available to be sponsored. I was worried, thinking the worst, but they assured me that he was healthy and in good care. They told me that he had only moved away from their ministry base of Compassion International in that area.

I have been praying on whether or not to adopt another child. Knowing that you are giving hope to a child (or family) in need is so rewarding. No doubt I do want to continue to donate in some way or another. I started reading up on the internet of other ministries. I looked through the EurasiaCommunity website. I went to the MSF Doctors Without Borders website. I started thinking that perhaps instead of giving a huge chunk of money to one organization, maybe I should disperse it among a few.

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways lately. Beyond proving me a place to stay for low rent, He has provided scholastic funds, healed my car, and given me multiple avenues to earn money. The Lord has indeed seen me through every obstacle, meeting my every need.

I had a dream a few weeks ago - I won't go into it now, but it was incredible and I will post it soon - about the Lord telling me to share His testimony to the world, and share His love. I plan to do just that.

If but the world could see His love! His love is more than anyone of us can imagine. When people say that God is love, they have noo idea how true that is! I caught a glimpse of just how big His love is, but it was for only a second. For anyone out there who is struggling and feels all alone, take heart! I have been there, and Someone cares! Someone hears your prayers. His name is Jesus, and He loves you beyond your wildest dreams.

God is GOOD

God is so good! How often we hear those words, yet think nothing of it. Yesterday, those words came to life. God has blessed me so much I am losing count of them all. Lol. No I didn't win the lottery, and no I wasn't given a 2014 Jaguar. The Lord has blessed me with opportunities to serve, with a clearer understanding of His word, with a growing passion to be like Him, and love the world as He does.

In addition, I received an award letter from a scholarship. It truly came just in time, for my bills was going to be cutting into the negative. With that scholarship I have less then fifty dollars to pay for tuition this semester. See, God does come through when we take that leap of faith, and choose to follow Him.

It is through the times of testing and trials where we see His power the most. When we choose to let go, it is then He can move mountains in our lives. When we give Him the wheel, like that one song by Carrie Underwood, it is then that He will take control and show us the way. We can rest assured that under His wings we shall never be desolate. Take heart and never give up, for in the footsteps of the Almighty will we find victory. God IS good!

His name is Shishir

I adopted a child last month. Well, more accurately, I started sponsoring him. He is four years old, and his name is Shishir. He is from Asia, and comes from a poor family. I realize there are a lot of poverty stricken families out there. I should know, having known many personally. To be perfectly honest, I have always been skeptical about such sponsoring programs. This one, however, I felt God was laying on my heart. He was calling me to help this child and so... I am.
A man came and spoke in our church at the beginning of this year, and seeing those pictures and videos did something to me. In short, I was moved to do something. To make a difference. It is yes but one life, and such a life of but one small child. But it is one child that can be saved from poverty, and from hunger. It is one little boy who can now live and pursue his dreams. His dream is to become a doctor. His name is Shishir, and I think he is changing me more so than I him. Isn't it funny how that seems to work?

Let us Love

There is a hurting world at our finger tips. There is a desperate heart about to break. There are many hearts about break, many already shattered. Jesus loved the hurting and broken. He befriended the tax collectors and sinners. He loved the unloved. He comforted the betrayed. Those whom others despised He served. And He showed them hope for tomorrow. He showed them there was a tomorrow.

Let us be like Him... let us help the forgotten, the lonely and lost; love the unloved, the hurting and judged; proclaim the Lord's name to both old and young; be the voice for those who have none. Let us have the heart and mind of God.

Don't Give Up!

 

So don't give up. God didn't give up on you. He laid His life down for you. Will you dare to live for Him? Will you dare to stay steadfast in Him, despite what come your way?

When they have no voice...

So God has been working so much in my life. For one, I feel like my heart is lead continually to hurting children. Sure I've always thought kids were cute and precious (some intimidating and annoying) but I never truly felt like I would pursue a ministry focused on children. I never thought I could fall so easily in love with children.

But I have. And now I cry when I but see their suffering faces on the internet. I see their pain and anguish and I mourn because I know that they are fighting a losing battle. They face desolation, captivity, hatred, emptiness and loneliness on every side. They weep and call out but no one hears them. They cry for someone to hear them but the world doesn't even see them.

I want to go to those children. I want to be their voice when theirs has gone. When they can't stand because they have been pushed down too many times, I want to lift them up on my shoulders and be their feet. I want to wash their wounds and comb their messy hair. I want to embrace them and kiss them, even yet while their bodies are infected with disease, because no one else dares even touch them. I want to pray for them and watch them be healed. I want to tell them about Jesus and pour His love onto them. I want to wrap them in warm blankets and tell them they have a Father in Heaven who cares for them and is watching over them. I want to suffer when they suffer. I want to bear their burdens. I want to cry their tears and I want to laugh when they at last laugh. I want to find them and let them know their cry has been heard. I want to tell them that someone still cares. More over, I want to tell them Jesus cares.

Unexplained Change

First off I just want to apologize for not writing sooner. God has been working in my life in ways I never would have imagined. To list them all here would be to write a book.

As you may have noticed I have been waiting two weeks to update Voice for the Voiceless rather than only one. At first I must admit it was out of procrastination but now I feel the Lord leading me to continue to pray even longer, for the children and their families who die from hunger, for instance, every year. All I can think about is their skin and bones and weeping faces and frightened eyes and loss of hope that seem to scream from the pictures I find online.

I can't help but want to hold them in my arms and whisper to them about Jesus and His love. To tell them that He is watching them and wiping away their tears and weeping when they weep and indeed rejoicing when they are happy. I want so desperately to hear the sound of their carefree giggles and hearty laughs. To see the smile in their eyes. I want to love them like Jesus. In short, I am dedicating yet another week to "Endless Hunger".

In addition to that, I at last started my first day of college. Public Speaking was the class and I have a feeling that I will enjoy it immensely. I still can't believe that I am finally beginning this journey to pursue my dream. I only wish it didn't have to take so long. Four years seems like centuries when you know that people are dying everyday. It's so hard for me to be happy without feeling guilty inside. Here I laugh while they cry. Perhaps such is the reason I find myself awkwardly crying in randoms moments of the day.

Call me emotional but all my life it was so easy for me to weep selfish tears. It came so easily when someone hurt my feelings. Yet now, today, I couldn't shed a tear. I was at a lost until suddenly the Lord reminded me of the hurting children from across seas. Thinking of their pain caused me to cry endlessly. I didn't even know why but it ached so deep inside, and I could literally feel their burdens and sorrow. It took everything inside me to keep from jumping a plane at that moment and shipping myself off to some unnamed country. Indeed, I find it slightly frightening the way the Lord is working in my life and heart.

Yet perhaps it is OK if it gives me the drive and motivation to run after this calling, if it keeps me focused on the Lord's will for my life, then I don't mind it. I am thankful. I am thankful for how much the Lord has been changing me. Now I hear Him tell me that He wants to bless me.

He says that I am "ready". That the "time is here". Yet time for what? I don't understand but I feel Him smile. I am so glad that Jesus is so alive in my life. I only wish I could live my calling today. Right now. I know the day will come and these such weekly prayers are the only thing that holds me together while I wait for me to be ready. May I live to be everything that God has planned for me and nothing more. 

And bless those children who do hunger. Their pain is in my heart always.

With all my breaths I pray

There was a prayer I uttered some time ago that I would have the chance to talk about the Lord at my work. Aside from always praying at lunch and little things like not participating in Halloween, I never really felt like there was an open door for me to freely talk about the Lord... until yesterday.

It was just one of my co-workers but somehow we got onto the subject of life and family. I never share about my childhood (I mean who wants to talk about your mother leaving?) but yesterday I just felt like I needed to. It was brief but in the end I was talking about how though God allows heartache and trials, He never expects us to bear them alone. There is always a reason for everything and such things can make us stronger and closer to God.

I told her how I was okay to have just been raised by a dad. How I never missed anything because God somehow brought it about that we would still be a complete family. I don't regret the past but am thankful for it... because it has made me the person I am today.

I won't bore you with details but know that my life has never been roses and rainbows. Yet I don't mind. I'm perfectly fine the way my 19 years of life were spent. Except for the regret of not sharing the Gospel more to people and the times I did fail. But the Lord always gives us the opportunity to repent and start over.

It is because of His saving grace and mercy. It is because of His love, for indeed He first loved us when we were yet lost sinners and condemned. But Christ was moved with compassion and so came down from Heaven to pour His love on this world. It was unrequited love so many times but that didn't stop Him. He went to the cross for us and died for us because His love for us was that strong. It IS that strong. And that is exactly how I am able to endure any hardship that comes my way. Because I know that there is Someone watching over me; Someone who died for me 2,000 years ago on a cross. And I know that such trials are only opportunities to make me stronger.


I am so glad for the opportunity that I had to share a bit of my testimony. It wasn't much at all. In fact, I didn't quite even get to the part how I accepted Jesus into my life. But I showed her how a life with Jesus has indeed changed my life and made me to survive all the hardship of my yesterdays.

I see the glow and hope of her accepting Christ into her life. She is so quiet when it comes to such topics but each day I see her opening up more and more. Just little comments and actions, and I pray with all my breaths that she is not far from taking that leap of faith. May I see that day when it comes, for indeed I have faith. And I am excited.

Truth in Cliche

Saw this on the web and had to post it. How cliche yet so true! Indeed, even I am guilty of being too impatient. My prince will come in God's timing.

Love me

Love me - JJ Heller

If you haven't heard this song you should check it out. I've always liked it but today when hearing it on the radio at work, it really hit hard and I saw it in a totally different way. This is the boy who doesn't know he has a Father who loves him. It's the mother who doesn't know she isn't alone. It's the man behind bars who can't see his second chance. It's the orphan who doesn't know he has a family eager to welcome him with open arms. These are the people who cry to the deafening silence with no reply. But Someone does hear them. Someone does love them.

Wounds of the Children - A Voice for the Voiceless

So I'm not entirely sure why my heart has been so set on children recently, but i just cant get them out of my head. This particular issue I'll share with you has been on my mind for nigh a week and my greatest regret is not posting it sooner. Thus, this week i vow to dedicate my time to praying for the children of China.

All across this over populated country children have been violently attacked throughout the schools and many even killed. Complete strangers will just walk in during school hours and throw around, kick and even stab these innocent kids for no reason. Many times the predators will kill themselves afterwards while no explanation is given as to why this sudden outburst of violence. If they are caught alive, their punishments remain mostly moderate if brought to justice at all.

I can't even begin to understand why God would allow this but I know that there is a reason for everything. Satan is the prince of this world and everyday we witness horrible things happen. Perhaps such things happen so that we might as God's people stand up and do something about it. Perhaps it is a motivation to leave our comfort zone and comfort the inflicted. We are not on this earth for our own pleasure nor to enjoy a comfortable and carefree life. Our mission is to be ambassadors for Christ. It is our duty to love this world and be that Good Samaritan and help the brokenhearted and wounded. It is our calling to give of ourselves so that we might help save the life of another and bring them to know Christ.

What stops us therefore then, from lifting up a prayer to our heavenly for these poor children? Many know not God or how to pray. Many can't see the light of hope but we do through Jesus. Therefore let us meet with the Lord this day for them and request His saving grace. These children do not have a voice to cry out but we do! Let us be a voice for the voiceless!

For more information on whats happening in China see below -

Six Children Killed 
Nursery School Attack 
Teachers Too? 

(I do realize that there are some good schools still for children in China. But at the moment too many are unsafe and insecure for us to just ignore.)

I want to do it ALL

When I first decided to go into overseas medical all I wanted to do was aid in the most critical and emergency demanding situations. But today while looking for a picture to add on the Voice of the Voiceless, I couldn't help but ache for every man, woman and child that showed up on the screen.
Faces of those who couldn't escape suffering. Their pain and sorrow echoing in their eyes as their weakening bodies bore the burdens of illness and hunger and abuse. How could we have it so easy and they from birth be dealt such a terrible hand? So many didn't even have a chance to save their lives.
What I wouldn't give to wrap them in a warm blanket or feed them a bowl of hot soup or give them to drink a cup of cold, clean water. What I wouldn't give to put a smile on a child's face.
Suddenly I realize, I want to do it all. It doesn't matter anymore if their life is on the line at that very moment. They've been waiting their whole lives to be loved. Who says they have to wait until they are dying?
I want to be like Jesus. I want to show them His love. I want to shower them with it and watch as His joy anoints them and His hope rains down on them. The promise of a new day. A better day. I want to be there when they smile and find out that Jesus loves them. I want to be the one to tell them. I want to hold them and tell them that I love them.