Oh my goodness! I almost forgot:

Happy Valentines Day!! May God bless ya abundantly. And even if you don't have a special person to spend it with, even if you just lost someone and feel alone, know that Jesus loves you and He will always be there for you. He will never forsake you and always will He be there to dry you tears and carry you. Celebrate! Jesus is in love with you! :)

He is shaping our tomorrow...

So over the past week or so, instead of spending my time dragging my feet wishing I could do something more, I've come to give it to God and just let Him lead in my life (no matter how impatient I get). Lord please help me. Give me the patience.


 There must be a reason why the Lord hasn't fully made clear His calling in my life. I know that it must have something to do with music and writing but looking deeper into those two I find that there are innumerable things you can do with them. (For example, a life pursuing music can be as varied as becoming a conductor of an international orchestra to joining a local rock band, etc). I don't know exactly how He wants to use me even though I've known the basic idea for a while.


As some of you know - I am a very impatient girl, thus my dilemma of wanting to do something now - but recently the idea that I am not yet ready has come to me; that suppose God is still preparing me for 'my life calling' even as I wait on Him. I know that God's timing is perfect and if He has not made clear unto me His plans for my life, than suppose I am not even ready to hear them. Suppose I am to rather take one day at a time - each day unfolding unto me as it comes - and trusting instead in the Lord fully who will unravel His plans for my life as He sees fit. Suppose even, our ignorance of the future is a blessing in disguise that protects us from unnecessary fear. For one thing, had I known beforehand all that I was to do already in my life (two years in the remote places of Alaska, four years in Mexico and something over a year in Canada) I'm not so sure I would have had been so eager to follow His leading.


I really believe that part of having a personal relationship with Jesus is just learning to trust in Him and - even though we may be blind to the events of even tomorrow - we can rest at peace knowing that everything is in our God's control. Nothing takes place without His knowledge and even a tragedy can He turn into good. The Lord is shaping our tomorrows and if we but let Him, He will create it into a beautiful masterpiece. So in short, thats what I'm letting Him do.


 You have the reins Lord. Take the wheel of my life Jesus and shape the clay of my tomorrow into the plans you desire for me. Mold me into the vessel you want me to be. Teach me you will and give me the strength and I will live in it. In Jesus' name. Amen.

When the Stars Burn Down

"When the stars burn down and the earth wears out and we stand before the throne, with the witnesses who have gone before we will rise and all applaud

"Singing blessing and honor, glory and power forever to our God. Singing blessing and honor, glory and power forever to our God.

"When the hands of time wind fully down and the earth is rolled up like a scroll, the trumpets will call and the world will fall to its knees as we go home.

"Singing blessing and honor, glory and power forever to our God. Singing blessing and honor, glory and power forever to our God."

In Christ, we have something to look forward to. (song by Philips, Craig & Dean - When the Stars Burn Down)

Only somebody like me would be so forgetful...

So I was heating up a pot of tomato soup - mmmm delicious eh? - and I sort of got distracted with blogspot.com (trying to figure out what to post BTW) when I heard this horrendous roar of over boiling soup. Tomato soup of all things. And the thing is we have this electric burner that doesn't cool as soon as you shut it off so in addition to it all I can't clean it up right away. So here I write this blog as the burner licks up thick tasty soup and turns it into cement on the stove. What great fun when I get to try scrubbing it all off, eh? lol. You gotta love being a terrible cook. :P

What does God have in store for me?

Hey again!

Middle of the week and I'm relaxing in my Montana home, watching the snow fall outside. Fact is, I'm taking advantage of the fact that I don't have to work today till 6 p.m. lol And it really does pay off to finish high school early. Never again will I have headaches because of it.

So already my week has been a blast. Hard times yes, but great times too as I find myself growing in Christ in seemingly leaps and bounds (I just pray I take that head knowledge and sink it in my heart and that there it will remain forever).

Honestly, this week I have learned so much as God has opened my eyes to new perspectives of the same basic teachings. Its like I'm learning everything afresh all over again. And think of this, is it just coincidence that I have heard this one particular message being preached at least three times this week and am filled with these songs and verses that say the same thing? "Take that step of faith and answer to the calling that God has appointed you. 'Do not be afraid for I am with you'".

I'm not sure if I've shared this or not, but recently I have been struggling and searching for what God wants me to do with my life. "What does God have in store for me? What calling is He appointing me to do? When can I start this 'quest'? Where am I to start?" I'm so anxious to do something for the Lord  that I find myself not satisfied with normal life. I'm tired of waiting and I want to take action. Only, does God want me to take action now? Do I still need to prepare? Am I ready for the tasks He has called for me? I want my life to be completely surrendered to God, Him leading my every move, and yet even as I say that I wonder how many times I've left God out in important decisions in my life.

Its so easy to take your life in your own hands. You naturally think it must be God's will because it sounds so good and it seems like the right thing to do. But is it really? What if you find that because you took that certain job or made that particular decision that now you missed out on the opportunity that God originally called you for? That is what I'm scared of.

So anyways, in a nutshell, thats been my prayer and struggle for the past month. What does God have in store for me? I don't want to wait anymore. I want to go out and do something. Yet how do I go about it? I want His will in my life but where am I to take the first step? When will be the day that I hear Him say, "Now is the time."?

You know, thinking back on when my family was in full time ministry it seemed life was a lot easier. I mean course we had our ups and downs - trials and hardship never seemed to cease - but somewhere I found this amazing peace and joy and fullness that surpassed all that. Life had so much more meaning and now that I am living a normal life there's something of that goodness that I no longer feel. Does that make sense?

"Serving others is like blessing yourself". You mean to bless others but instead you find yourself being blessed in return. And yet its not just all about receiving the blessings, but about knowing that your life is not being wasted by sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips. (lol. no offense to anyone).

You find that precious time isn't spilled over senseless issues when you serve God and live for the Greater Calling. Seriously, your life really does take on a different meaning when you live for Christ and that fullness - that joy of knowing you are spreading the love and Gospel of Christ - that is really what I miss. Thats why I am so anxious to "get back to working again" and serving God. Thats why I desire to be delving into His will, full-throttle and sold out, as I fulfill His calling for my life. I want to live for nothing else.

"Lord, I pray thee, show me Thy will for my life. Make it clear unto me and give me the strength to take those steps towards Your will. Give me discernment and give me patience. Let Thine will be done, as in Heaven so on Earth. In Jesus' name. Amen."

The Next New York Times Bestseller!!

     I have this friend who just published her first book. She's an amazing writer with a huge heart for the Lord. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if she became the next New York Times Bestseller. She's that good. Her book is a mix up of mystery, intrigue, and drama about a teenage girl set in modern times who uncovers a secret as well as copes with a terrible family tragedy. I don't wanna tell you too much but if you want to know more about it click here: Without a Trace by Helen Elias or here for Amazon.com. Once you start reading her book you just won't be able to put it down. Seriously, trust me. Follow her on Twitter.

Engine Problems... ughhh

So my sister and I were trying to pass this other vehicle on a one lane road a few days ago and slid into a ditch thick with at least a foot of snow. ughh. We got out of it easy enough, sort of, but now a few days later we find our truck is having serious problems. Its an older Toyota but in great condition (was at least) and was a Christmas present from our father. Its seriously worth at least $5,000, which makes us feel that more worse. Its makes this terrible knocking noise that sounds like the engines about to fall from under and smokes even a little. I feel so bad. =S


"Lord please help us. Help the truck. Its like our only transportation to work, but above all let your will be done. In Jesus' Name."


Its with things like this that forces ya to really rely on God and put your trust in Him. Tomorrow can be so unpredictable, soooooo unpredictable. What better to live our lives than trusting in the One - the only one - who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Life Update

Winter in Montana can get so confusing. Its like the world can't decide on how a typical Winter season should be. Somedays its snowing like a blizzard, the drifts piling up six feet high, and on others days the clouds are pouring rain, flooding the fields. The latter is unfortunately most common. Its like Montana has shifted to the weather patterns of Oregon.


lol news of the weather most likely doesn't sound interesting. Let me switch it up. I was raised in Montana, moved to Alaska for two years, then Canada and finally Mexico for four years. My life has been ministry and helping the poor since I was nine. I've loved the life and now here I am back in Montana actually experiencing what its like to lead a normal life. Its nice but I get so restless. I'm so used to traveling most every two years that it feels weird to even just be staying in the same house so long.


Now I'm getting anxious to make a trip across seas to some place like Haiti. Imagine helping the poorest the of the poor. Feeding the orphans and even aiding in the Red Cross medical team. A place like Haiti that just got devastated, a place already suffering and struggling, to be knocked down and their little strength crippled just kills me. I know I could never help everyone but even just that one small child who lost his parents or that widowed mother with her babe penniless and hungry, or the stranger living on the street recently crippled by the catastrophe.


Maybe not now but one day I will go and do my share. Maybe not there but someplace I will reach out and stand in the middle of it all and share the Lord's love, facing death in its face and helping those struggling to survive. God loves them too and just because we're so far removed, in a country wealthy and prosperous, doesn't mean they don't need our help. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean their sufferings don't exist.


Imagine living on hope, witnessing pain and death, and struggling just to survive the next day. One day... if its not tomorrow.

His hand in my life... stretching the clay

Hey everyone. Its been so long since I've been on. Happy (belated) New Years! :D
So recently I've had a lot running through my mind and even more filling days. Questions from what I want to achieve in life, to where does God want me and how does he want to use me, to even the basics struggles of learning to step out of my comfort zone and trust God.


For one thing, and maybe to some this isn't a big deal, I just got a baby sitting job for two young boys (a 2 1/2 and 5 year old). At first I was just about freaked out. How in the world do you care for a two year old?!  I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this before but I'm the youngest in my family and being around kids was just something I've never really learned; at least not to a comfortable extent.
For the longest amount of time I was literally terrified of them. So long story short, it was a decision I wrestled with daily, changing my mind several times a day, yet eventually giving in and accepting the job. lol. I think I found every excuse in the book to give me doubt before I finally came around looked reality in the face. I'm seventeen and turning eighteen in less than a month! I needed to do this. So now?... I'm on my second week and its amazing! I love it!


Besides that, I'm still playing the piano and learning violin (I mentioned that before right?). Its hard at times but rewarding. In fact, just a few days ago my sister and I booked a day when we would perform (play) at this fundraiser. Nothing big but at least it'll get us out there, and maybe some more opportunities will open up from it (my sister and I are trying to get in the music industry). Now I just gotta get confident with the violin and soon I'll be able to play that too! I sooo can't wait for that day.


God thank you for so many amazing opportunities! Its so great how you work in our lives when we learn to just trust in you. Yeah we may have to step out of our comfort zone but its so worth it.