What does God have in store for me?

Hey again!

Middle of the week and I'm relaxing in my Montana home, watching the snow fall outside. Fact is, I'm taking advantage of the fact that I don't have to work today till 6 p.m. lol And it really does pay off to finish high school early. Never again will I have headaches because of it.

So already my week has been a blast. Hard times yes, but great times too as I find myself growing in Christ in seemingly leaps and bounds (I just pray I take that head knowledge and sink it in my heart and that there it will remain forever).

Honestly, this week I have learned so much as God has opened my eyes to new perspectives of the same basic teachings. Its like I'm learning everything afresh all over again. And think of this, is it just coincidence that I have heard this one particular message being preached at least three times this week and am filled with these songs and verses that say the same thing? "Take that step of faith and answer to the calling that God has appointed you. 'Do not be afraid for I am with you'".

I'm not sure if I've shared this or not, but recently I have been struggling and searching for what God wants me to do with my life. "What does God have in store for me? What calling is He appointing me to do? When can I start this 'quest'? Where am I to start?" I'm so anxious to do something for the Lord  that I find myself not satisfied with normal life. I'm tired of waiting and I want to take action. Only, does God want me to take action now? Do I still need to prepare? Am I ready for the tasks He has called for me? I want my life to be completely surrendered to God, Him leading my every move, and yet even as I say that I wonder how many times I've left God out in important decisions in my life.

Its so easy to take your life in your own hands. You naturally think it must be God's will because it sounds so good and it seems like the right thing to do. But is it really? What if you find that because you took that certain job or made that particular decision that now you missed out on the opportunity that God originally called you for? That is what I'm scared of.

So anyways, in a nutshell, thats been my prayer and struggle for the past month. What does God have in store for me? I don't want to wait anymore. I want to go out and do something. Yet how do I go about it? I want His will in my life but where am I to take the first step? When will be the day that I hear Him say, "Now is the time."?

You know, thinking back on when my family was in full time ministry it seemed life was a lot easier. I mean course we had our ups and downs - trials and hardship never seemed to cease - but somewhere I found this amazing peace and joy and fullness that surpassed all that. Life had so much more meaning and now that I am living a normal life there's something of that goodness that I no longer feel. Does that make sense?

"Serving others is like blessing yourself". You mean to bless others but instead you find yourself being blessed in return. And yet its not just all about receiving the blessings, but about knowing that your life is not being wasted by sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips. (lol. no offense to anyone).

You find that precious time isn't spilled over senseless issues when you serve God and live for the Greater Calling. Seriously, your life really does take on a different meaning when you live for Christ and that fullness - that joy of knowing you are spreading the love and Gospel of Christ - that is really what I miss. Thats why I am so anxious to "get back to working again" and serving God. Thats why I desire to be delving into His will, full-throttle and sold out, as I fulfill His calling for my life. I want to live for nothing else.

"Lord, I pray thee, show me Thy will for my life. Make it clear unto me and give me the strength to take those steps towards Your will. Give me discernment and give me patience. Let Thine will be done, as in Heaven so on Earth. In Jesus' name. Amen."