I saw the face of Jesus.
It was dark
outside, and cold. Snow swept across the fogging windshield and piled
around the already buried tires. No doubt, like last year, I had never
gotten around to putting on winter tires. To add to my frustration
the engine was sputtering out as well.
There was a glow
from a house close by, and a stream of thick smoking lifting into the
night sky. My sister and I hesitated, but finally we decided to trudge
through the knee high snow and knock on the door. A woman
appeared in the doorway. I don't recall for sure, but I believe she
wore an apron and had something cooking on the stove. To say the
least it was a warm, cozy place, and with open arms they welcomed us
in.
They were a sweet
couple. They offered us a cup of hot something, and a place to sleep.
The next morning we awoke, and from there it blurred for a bit. We
must have stayed for a couple days because we got to know them fairly
well. It was through one of our conversations around the fireplace
when they brought up the rumors of the traveling train.
There had been
several accounts of a man, many whom claimed was Jesus, passing
through from town to town along the railroad. The accounts all said
children accompanied Him, and that wherever He visited many had
believed on the Lord, giving their life to Jesus. It was then they
told us that He would be passing through that town in just a few
short days. Obviously there was no exact schedule, but the rumors
claimed His next destination was there.
A few mornings
later news spread that He would be arriving in a few short hours.
Alina and I were skeptical, yet curious. Bundled up in borrowed
boots, jackets, hats and scarves, we made our way to the train
station. There was a small crowd gathering, whispering to one another
in anticipation. We all had the same question in mind. Who was this
man whom touched the hearts and inspired so many people? Who was this
man whom they called Jesus?
It first came as a
small light, flickering off in the distance. As it grew closer, the
light brightened and lit up the sky. The engine rumbled, smoke bellowed high, and the rhythmic grind of the gears. What surprised us all was the sound of
laughter. Child laughter, starting out faint and barely audible and growing louder.
Before we knew it,
the train was hauling in right beside us. Odd as it may sound, the
cars had no roofs, and thus were exposed to the weather. Yet no one
appeared cold. There were children everywhere, and suddenly just
being in there midst made one bubble up in laughter and joy.
We ran
along with the train until it came to a complete stop. When it did, I
climbed up the side of one car and found myself looking right into
the face of the man whom everyone called Jesus. In an instant I knew that all the rumors were true. I was looking right into the eyes of the Son of God. I saw His love. I saw Him looking at me, and I crumbled from the intensity of His love for me, and I cried. My whole body shook. In that moment I was overwhelmed in His presence.
He was surrounded by little children of all ages.
He wore no fancy robes. He wore no crown of jewels. He was dressed
quite simple. He was clean shaven save something of a three day
stubble. His hair was brown, curly locks. His eyes I cannot put into
words. Imagine a light hue, almost the color of blue and like glass. When He looked at you He looked into your soul. All knowing,
yet entirely and altogether loving. I cannot explain this love that I
felt, but when He set His gaze on me I felt so comforted, so
rejuvenated, so full of hope, and so loved. I didn't want to let Him
go. I understood in that moment what true unconditional love was. And
his smile. He smiled at me. After seeing beyond the walls I had built
up over the years, after seeing and acknowledging every hidden secret within my heart,
after beholding my dirty and blemished soul, He smiled at me.
What is in a smile?
I tell you, I cannot know save the smile of Jesus Christ. He did not
condemn me. He loved me. He greeted me like I meant everything to
Him. That was how He greeted everyone. It reminded me of that verse,
"For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." John 3:17 KJV
He didn't say much,
but this one thing I remember well. I don't recall the exact words,
but one thing He kept repeating over and over was, “Trace my image
and share it with the world.”
I told Him I did
not understand. I told Him I had a sore hand for art, and that I
could never do His glory justice. He only replied with the same
request. I understand now that He did not mean literally draw His
face, but rather share to the world the image of who He was and what He
had done. I finally told Him I would. (This is me trying.)
The train had to
pull out not long after that, and I begged Him to stay. I clung to
Him, and nigh willed Him to remain, but He said He must continue. I
begged to follow Him. I did not want to ever leave His side again. He was suddenly all I cared to live for. But in a still, small voice He told me to stay and
pursue the calling He had given me. It reminded me of the man whom Jesus delivered from the demons when He crossed the sea of Galilee. The man begged to follow Jesus, but Christ commanded him to stay and go and share with the town what the Lord had done.
"And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him.
"Howbeit
Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and
tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had
compassion on thee.
"And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel."
Mark 5:18-20
I was not on that
train when it pulled out. I remained behind. This truly applies to me in real life because for a long time I have been restless to go and do God's work in other countries right now. There have been nights where I could not sleep and would do anything to leave everything behind and just go. I have had really no patience to wait on the Lord's timing. But in that dream, when He told me to stay behind, I know that He was referring to me remaining here in the Flathead Valley and continuing school, being a witness here for Him.
When the engine began to rumble and smoke bellow out, I asked Jesus in my dream to let me
look at His face once more. To gaze into His beautiful countenance,
and behold His pure, innocent yet powerful glory. Pure love.
Unconditional. Pure joy. I have never felt anything like it before.
I had cried when I
looked into his face. Tears not of sadness, but an overwhelming of
peace. I cried when I later rejoined the crowds and tried to tell
them what I saw. I cried when I awoke this morning and discovered
this all a dream. I cried when I realized that God did indeed care
enough to visit me in a dream, JUST to tell me that He loved me, that
He knew all I had and was currently going through, and to tell me He
heard every prayer. He had been just as excited and anxious to meet me as I was to see Him. To show
Himself unto me after all these years. He had seen my blind faith,
and He at last manifested a small portion of Himself. I will forever remember that night.
Too often we think that because God does not come storming through and presenting His full majesty for us to behold, performing astounding miracles in our lives, that He must not see us or care for us. We think that God must not love us because He does not manifest himself to us. We think He doesn't care because He allows tragedies to befall us. We tend to think that we are too blemished for Him to care to love us or forgive us. We are so quick to condemn ourselves. But let me tell you this. To everyone who desires a relationship and reconciliation with Jesus Christ, He does not condemn you, but loves and cherishes you. He rejoices over you, and He is smiling on you right now though you cannot see Him. He hears you. I can vouch for that.
I looked on the
internet about images of Jesus. Numerous life accounts poured through Google search, and everyone exclaimed over and over about His eyes and love. They claimed he had light
eyes, some thought green and others blue. I personally believe they
are a color no man can recognize, yet our mind struggles to tag a color
our simple minds know.
I am positive with
no doubt that I saw Jesus. I know it, and this I will cherish. I can
hardly wait to see Him again in Heaven, and I desperately hope I have
the most blessed opportunity to see Him again before then.
"That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
"May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
"And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God."
Ephesians 3:17-19 KJV
