A Stark Contrast

I am continuously reminded of the world that lies beyond the North American borders. We lose ourselves in the comforts of this blessed country. We indulge in foods and entertainment that others could not even imagine. We who live "ordinary lives" are among the richest people in the world, and except a few pockets here and there scattered across the globe, so many live in  poverty. (This isn't to say we all have it good here. There are numerous tragedies on this very soil, but in general we do live more comfortably than others.)

The American dream becomes a stark contrast to what lies beyond a few southern borders, or just an ocean away. While we stress about driving through traffic or the line at Starbucks, others across the globe are struggling to feed their malnourished children or receive the treatment for tuberculosis. The sheer culture shock is why people are debriefed before and after going across seas. We are not mentally prepared for what lies beyond.

For years, my heart has been longing to reach such nations. I began studying at a community college for nursing, only to realize that my heart was passionate about pathology. I moved to Bozeman so I can finish my bachelor in microbiology. Ultimately, Lord willing, I want to get through med school and join Doctors Without Borders. While I am on the right track, it feels like it is taking too long. I wish I could walk out my front door now. I wish I could buy a plane ticket and fly to Africa. I wish I could find those refugee camps where Ebola and XDR-TB ravage the countryside. I want to help the inflicted, both researching in their lab and directly working with the people. However, I know that I would only be in the way if I went right now. I know I must first prepare myself.

You may ask, what can you do while you are still here? One could volunteer locally, or donate money to an organization, or at the very least keep these people in prayers. We can also gain a little perspective. While we are distracted by the "suffering" of a First World country (like trying to send a text when our battery is dying or passing the "idiot" who is driving too slow) let's remember that at the end of the day we will be climbing into a warm bed with a full stomach. Instead of naming off all the things that went wrong in our day, we should count our blessings and seek ways in which to bless others less fortunate. Don't turn a blind eye to the inflictions of the world. Here their cry and answer.

I had a dream

I saw the face of Jesus.

It was dark outside, and cold. Snow swept across the fogging windshield and piled around the already buried tires. No doubt, like last year, I had never gotten around to putting on winter tires. To add to my frustration the engine was sputtering out as well.

There was a glow from a house close by, and a stream of thick smoking lifting into the night sky. My sister and I hesitated, but finally we decided to trudge through the knee high snow and knock on the door. A woman appeared in the doorway. I don't recall for sure, but I believe she wore an apron and had something cooking on the stove. To say the least it was a warm, cozy place, and with open arms they welcomed us in.

They were a sweet couple. They offered us a cup of hot something, and a place to sleep. The next morning we awoke, and from there it blurred for a bit. We must have stayed for a couple days because we got to know them fairly well. It was through one of our conversations around the fireplace when they brought up the rumors of the traveling train.

There had been several accounts of a man, many whom claimed was Jesus, passing through from town to town along the railroad. The accounts all said children accompanied Him, and that wherever He visited many had believed on the Lord, giving their life to Jesus. It was then they told us that He would be passing through that town in just a few short days. Obviously there was no exact schedule, but the rumors claimed His next destination was there.

A few mornings later news spread that He would be arriving in a few short hours. Alina and I were skeptical, yet curious. Bundled up in borrowed boots, jackets, hats and scarves, we made our way to the train station. There was a small crowd gathering, whispering to one another in anticipation. We all had the same question in mind. Who was this man whom touched the hearts and inspired so many people? Who was this man whom they called Jesus?

It first came as a small light, flickering off in the distance. As it grew closer, the light brightened and lit up the sky. The engine rumbled, smoke bellowed high, and the rhythmic grind of the gears. What surprised us all was the sound of laughter. Child laughter, starting out faint and barely audible and growing louder.

Before we knew it, the train was hauling in right beside us. Odd as it may sound, the cars had no roofs, and thus were exposed to the weather. Yet no one appeared cold. There were children everywhere, and suddenly just being in there midst made one bubble up in laughter and joy.

We ran along with the train until it came to a complete stop. When it did, I climbed up the side of one car and found myself looking right into the face of the man whom everyone called Jesus. In an instant I knew that all the rumors were true. I was looking right into the eyes of the Son of God. I saw His love. I saw Him looking at me, and I crumbled from the intensity of His love for me, and I cried. My whole body shook. In that moment I was overwhelmed in His presence.

He was surrounded by little children of all ages. He wore no fancy robes. He wore no crown of jewels. He was dressed quite simple. He was clean shaven save something of a three day stubble. His hair was brown, curly locks. His eyes I cannot put into words. Imagine a light hue, almost the color of blue and like glass. When He looked at you He looked into your soul. All knowing, yet entirely and altogether loving. I cannot explain this love that I felt, but when He set His gaze on me I felt so comforted, so rejuvenated, so full of hope, and so loved. I didn't want to let Him go. I understood in that moment what true unconditional love was. And his smile. He smiled at me. After seeing beyond the walls I had built up over the years, after seeing and acknowledging every hidden secret within my heart, after beholding my dirty and blemished soul, He smiled at me.

What is in a smile? I tell you, I cannot know save the smile of Jesus Christ. He did not condemn me. He loved me. He greeted me like I meant everything to Him. That was how He greeted everyone. It reminded me of that verse,

"For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." John 3:17 KJV

He didn't say much, but this one thing I remember well. I don't recall the exact words, but one thing He kept repeating over and over was, “Trace my image and share it with the world.”

I told Him I did not understand. I told Him I had a sore hand for art, and that I could never do His glory justice. He only replied with the same request. I understand now that He did not mean literally draw His face, but rather share to the world the image of who He was and what He had done. I finally told Him I would. (This is me trying.)

The train had to pull out not long after that, and I begged Him to stay. I clung to Him, and nigh willed Him to remain, but He said He must continue. I begged to follow Him. I did not want to ever leave His side again. He was suddenly all I cared to live for. But in a still, small voice He told me to stay and pursue the calling He had given me. It reminded me of the man whom Jesus delivered from the demons when He crossed the sea of Galilee. The man begged to follow Jesus, but Christ commanded him to stay and go and share with the town what the Lord had done.

"And when he was come into the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him. 

"Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had compassion on thee.

^"And he departed, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men did marvel."

Mark 5:18-20

I was not on that train when it pulled out. I remained behind. This truly applies to me in real life because for a long time I have been restless to go and do God's work in other countries right now. There have been nights where I could not sleep and would do anything to leave everything behind and just go. I have had really no patience to wait on the Lord's timing. But in that dream, when He told me to stay behind, I know that He was referring to me remaining here in the Flathead Valley and continuing school, being a witness here for Him.

When the engine began to rumble and smoke bellow out, I asked Jesus in my dream to let me look at His face once more. To gaze into His beautiful countenance, and behold His pure, innocent yet powerful glory. Pure love. Unconditional. Pure joy. I have never felt anything like it before.

I had cried when I looked into his face. Tears not of sadness, but an overwhelming of peace. I cried when I later rejoined the crowds and tried to tell them what I saw. I cried when I awoke this morning and discovered this all a dream. I cried when I realized that God did indeed care enough to visit me in a dream, JUST to tell me that He loved me, that He knew all I had and was currently going through, and to tell me He heard every prayer. He had been just as excited and anxious to meet me as I was to see Him. To show Himself unto me after all these years. He had seen my blind faith, and He at last manifested a small portion of Himself. I will forever remember that night.

Too often we think that because God does not come storming through and presenting His full majesty for us to behold, performing astounding miracles in our lives, that He must not see us or care for us. We think that God must not love us because He does not manifest himself to us. We think He doesn't care because He allows tragedies to befall us. We tend to think that we are too blemished for Him to care to love us or forgive us. We are so quick to condemn ourselves. But let me tell you this. To everyone who desires a relationship and reconciliation with Jesus Christ, He does not condemn you, but loves and cherishes you. He rejoices over you, and He is smiling on you right now though you cannot see Him. He hears you. I can vouch for that.

I looked on the internet about images of Jesus. Numerous life accounts poured through Google search, and everyone exclaimed over and over about His eyes and love. They claimed he had light eyes, some thought green and others blue. I personally believe they are a color no man can recognize, yet our mind struggles to tag a color our simple minds know.

I am positive with no doubt that I saw Jesus. I know it, and this I will cherish. I can hardly wait to see Him again in Heaven, and I desperately hope I have the most blessed opportunity to see Him again before then.

 "That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 

"May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 

"And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God."

Ephesians 3:17-19 KJV

Eurasia

I found an old bookmark in a book buried in a stuffed box in my closet last night. Actually, this "bookmark" was a folded up map that I had entirely forgotten about - a map of Eurasia.

http://eurasiacommunity.org/areas/what-is-eurasia/

Some months ago, a missionary had visited our church and shared with us the ministries going on there. He had provided us all with maps, requesting we pray for those people who had not heard the Gospel yet.

Eurasia consist of averagely 2.3 billion people, with 1.88 billion of them unreached by the Gospel. Christianity is not tolerable in many of these countries, but the Lord has been doing a great work.

I am reminded once again of the calling that the Lord has placed on all of our hearts: to preach the Gospel to the corners of the world. There is no place where it should not be heard. I know one day I will be over there in other countries, but for now I am here burying my nose in books at the college.

How I wish I could join our brothers and sisters across seas! How I wish I didn't have to wait and go to school! I know that God's timing is perfect, and in His will I vow to walk. Yet still I cannot say it is easy. He is teaching me patience.

I hung the map in my room last night, right where I could see it. I have been reading about Eurasia for quite sometime today, and every hour the restlessness within me increases. I am not restless only, but inspired. I am inspired to dare to step into the world unknown, beyond my borders, beyond the safety of home. I am challenged to reach into the darkest places of the world, but until then, I anxiously wait for the Lord to say to me "go".

Ebola Outbreak

While on Instagram today I saw a post from Doctors Without Borders. There are outbreaks of a virus called Ebola in West Africa. Many have suffered and died. Others have recovered. M.S.F. is fighting to save the infected, and prevent further spread of the disease.

Hearing about such outbreaks makes me want to join Doctors Without Borders even more so. I am stirred to continue to pursue my education in nursing. One day it will be me out there. One day... Until then I keep them in prayers, learning as much as I can about such illnesses.

Is it odd I find plagues and the like so fascinating? It baffles me how such little organisms can end the life of not just one person, but up to thousands and beyond. It makes me want to go out and fight alongside the Doctors Without Borders team.

I copied a link below that explains more about what is going on in Africa. Will you join me in prayer for those inflicted and those who are there serving?

http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/news-stories/field-news/battling-ebola-outbreak-west-africa

Restlessness

I have been growing restless again for minsitry. It's been nigh four years, and I feel I might break. Call me crazy, but I can't stop thinking about Mexico. I remember the life there. We didn't know many times what the next day would hold. We went where the Lord lead. We met people of all walks of life. Some were devout Christians, with the same stirring for ministry as us, others were back slidden, needing motivation and a revival in their hearts. Some had never even heard of the name of Jesus. We slept where they slept, wept when they wept, and rejoiced when they rejoiced. We grew together in Christ. We gained much, and we lost much.

Since Mexico, I have struggled to live a routine life. I am not used to planning months into my future. I am restless. I am reminded of those still suffering, those still hungry. I know I am preparing myself for eventually going across seas, and serving in the medical field, but I grow anxious to help and do something now. I'm afraid to step out on my own, but I am more afraid of doing nothing. I must do something.

The world can't wait for us to be good and ready. Everyday, everyone is one more day closer to death. Everyday, is one day closer to Christ's coming. And though we look forward to that day with exceeding joy, there are still those who have not heard of the Gospel. How can we sit idly by knowing the lost walk among us?

Yes, one can reach out in ministry to the local communities. Yes. There are ministry opportunities left and right, right here in Montana. But what about those beyond our borders? What about those forgotten? They are dismissed too often with the excuse that another will reach out to them. There are the few that do. Why can't I be that person? God has given me this restlessness for a reason.
I vow to go where the Lord leadeth, but I pray He leadeth me to venture beyond my borders.

His name is Shishir

I adopted a child last month. Well, more accurately, I started sponsoring him. He is four years old, and his name is Shishir. He is from Asia, and comes from a poor family. I realize there are a lot of poverty stricken families out there. I should know, having known many personally. To be perfectly honest, I have always been skeptical about such sponsoring programs. This one, however, I felt God was laying on my heart. He was calling me to help this child and so... I am.
A man came and spoke in our church at the beginning of this year, and seeing those pictures and videos did something to me. In short, I was moved to do something. To make a difference. It is yes but one life, and such a life of but one small child. But it is one child that can be saved from poverty, and from hunger. It is one little boy who can now live and pursue his dreams. His dream is to become a doctor. His name is Shishir, and I think he is changing me more so than I him. Isn't it funny how that seems to work?

Let us Love

There is a hurting world at our finger tips. There is a desperate heart about to break. There are many hearts about break, many already shattered. Jesus loved the hurting and broken. He befriended the tax collectors and sinners. He loved the unloved. He comforted the betrayed. Those whom others despised He served. And He showed them hope for tomorrow. He showed them there was a tomorrow.

Let us be like Him... let us help the forgotten, the lonely and lost; love the unloved, the hurting and judged; proclaim the Lord's name to both old and young; be the voice for those who have none. Let us have the heart and mind of God.

Invisibly

God has been working amazingly in my life. Everything from blessing me with true friends and a loving family, to giving me the opportunity and way to pursue this calling of nursing, to just encouraging me and motivating me to continue in His will.

I went to a luncheon today at the community college I attend. It was to honor the many donors of scholarships as well as congratulate the recipient students. I was blessed enough to be one. I was nervous at first, but soon that subsided as it was replaced with a kindling fire and assurance that I was doing what God wanted me to do. I witnessed countless donors and students who publicly professed their Faith. I had the opportunity to meet my supporters. I enjoyed a wonderful lunch (with pumpkin cheesecake as a dessert).

This day. This week. This year has truly been blessed. Yet now is the week upon us where many children don their costumes and trick or treat. So much darkness is in this time of year. Most people do not see it because it is subtle. Yet through and through not all take October 31 as just a fun filled day. Many take it to a serious occult level.

God has weighed it heavily on my heart to pray for this nation... To pray globally over this day and the children and families. May God's presence be evident and His power be at work today as this spiritual battle is being fought invisibly around us. Unknown to the eye yet ever amongst us.

Gloria a Dios!

Praise God! From the highest mountains to the deepest seas, let us lift our voices in adoration to our King! He has blessed me so much. From gifting me with a scholarship to cover yet more of my college tuition, to giving me so many great friends, to indeed being my comforter in every hardship. The Lord Jehovah is in truth, the Father of love, mercy, compassion, and power. And so much more!

My car died several times today. It couldn't hold an idle for more than a second; which is not near enough to pull the gear from park into drive. The devil truly is using every trick up his sleeve to discourage me, and to keep me from pursuing the calling God has set for me. But the enemy will not win. I will not back down. God has given me an assignment to serve across seas and I will not 'throw in the towel'. I will not let God or those overseas be disappointed.

There will come a day when I will pass all these obstacles and look back on the path which I struggled. I will know that the trials were worth it. I will be amazed at God's grace in guiding me. I will worship Him for all He has done. And thus, I shall worship Him even now. Gloria a Dios!

Eyes on the prize

Its week two in my college studies n i must admit that i love it! The classes are easy enough and the instructors great. I only pray that i do well and "keep my eyes on the prize" so to speak. For i am doing this so that i might eventually be able to serve over seas. As long as i keep that in mind and seek forever the will of God, i know i will come out victorious =)